two women walk in to a mcdonald's

i still giggle laugh uncontrollably just thinking about it.
really, i'm in the middle of a fit over here.

see, momma and i had to use the restroom about 1/3 of the way in to our beach journey. that tends to happen when you stop at mcdonald's at 6:30am and get large coffees and begin to drive, always must stop for a bathroom. sorry for my future husband because this part of me makes me a terrible traveler. but that is besides the point, sort of.
so momma and i had to stop at yet another mcdonald's to "use their facilities" and we were in a hurry because we just wanted to get on the highway and drive towards the sand and the sun and the remainder of the fam who traveled the night before. and hurry we tried, we tried with all of our little hearts to do anything but run in to mcdonald's. and that is when we met the lady, who i am sure is very nice, that this story is about.
now, we happened to get behind this woman who, well sort of was walking as follows:

skip to 7:25 in the video where all of the zombies begin to walk (of course if you are an MJ fan, watch the whole thing, i know i did). you will get a full idea of what this lady reminded me of.

or, for those who want to get on with the story it looked a little like this still shot, notice red arrow:

now i know it is blurry, hence the video up above.

so very nice lady, she is just straight up zombie walking to the bathroom. and i feel awful if she had a bum leg or something but you have to understand that it was quite a sight to see, especially since she had no clue that poor momma is just trying to get around her to run to that darned bathroom.

now, since you have the full visual, here comes the hilarity of the situation.

as previously mentioned, momma and i need to use the facilities, and in a hurry because we are trying to get to the beach. and the nice lady, she is just taking her good'ole time, meandering if you will, to the bathroom. so i get in the bathroom first and walk straight to the furthest stall from the door and say "here mom, you can go first", holding the stall door open and everything. see, i assumed that the nice lady would hear me say this, move aside for my momma and take the other stall seeing as i made it a point to sound as if i were in no hurry and could just wait.

i was wrong.

lady shuffled along, not moving aside for my momma (who was still trying to figure out a way to get by). she shuffled in to the bathroom. she shuffled past me. she shuffled all the way in to the stall that i was holding open for my mom. now, if the disbelief didn't straight smack me across the face then it had to be when she turned around and looked at me to close the door.

yeah.

so, i did what any well-mannered civilian would do, and i closed the door. to which she locked it. and i responded to her locking that darned stall door in my face by turning around with the silly smacked right off my face.

i was dumbfounded.

i probably looked like this curly haired man with the specks:

and that isn't an understatement.

it took me about 5 minutes to actually pick up my jaw and move in to the other bathroom stall. and i'm pretty sure that i still had the look on my face as i washed my hands and she emerged from the stall that i once held open for my real mother and she decided that she deserved instead.

and then i still stood that way as i dried may hands at the automatic hand dryer.

and all the way to the car.

and then, once the windows were up and i was buckled in and we were safely on our way to the highway i laughed so hard i thought my i was going to cry started to cry. i mean, come on, this did not just really happen. i mean, i thought the highlight of the drive would be when we were next to a state trooper and he had a guy slammed up against his car with handcuffs and shackles on his ankles. but nope, that lady just topped the cake.